I belong to a group on Facebook called "Thanks a Million!"—A Daily Gratitude Group. The purpose of the group is to provide a public forum for members to profess gratitude for everyday blessings. The group's administrator believes that everyone should have a daily gratitude practice for spiritual health.

In the weekly meditation classes offered at Vajra Light Buddhist Center in Hartsdale, students learn about cultivating joy through mindful appreciation.  While attending a class, I picked up the book, The New Meditation Handbook: Meditations to make our life happy and meaningful by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso.  Gyatso encourages meditators to commence practice through the contemplation of "our precious human life." In Buddhist meditation, practitioners begin with gratitude as a cornerstone. 

Gratitude supposedly has its own unique holiday: Thanksgiving! When I was growing up, I spent Thanksgiving at my paternal grandmother's home. She had four children, eleven grandchildren, and a number of great-grandchildren that I am unable to count with accuracy. She instituted a tradition of standing in a family circle while holding hands as each family member expressed thanks for at least one blessing. She always cried when she spoke of her gratitude. As a child, I was unable to fully comprehend the importance of gratitude and humility and as an adult, I have still not mastered these lessons. I feel in my heart that my grandmother mastered gratitude and humility during her lifetime. I didn't get to know her as well as I would have liked, but I know that she was a deeply spiritual person. I hope that she is somewhere now that allows her to guide the rest of us on our quest to attain these high qualities.

Meditating on gratitude and expressing it through prayer are very powerful practices. Recognizing the blessings in our lives and letting them sink into our consciousness can transform us from within. As we are renewed through gratitude, its outward expression becomes natural rather than feeling forced.  It feels good to say "thank you."

I do express my gratitude through spoken words, but I am notoriously bad about sending "thank you" notes. My mother and matnernal grandmother applied consistent and diligent effort in training me to express gratitude on stationery, so my failure to do so as an adult is certainly no fault of theirs.

Our culture has a convenient, built-in gratitude practice: tipping.  We express gratitude through tipping 20% at restaurants, salons and spas.  We tip cabbies.  We tip doormen, movers and babysitters. 

There are certain categories of professionals to whom I am uncertain how appropriately to express gratitude. How do we thank our doctors? I thank them verbally and I try to be respectful and understanding of their time. How do we thank alternative health practitoners? Rather than tipping—which in my mind is somewhat insulting to a healer—I have tried to show genuine respect for their unique talents.

What about nurses? I know that when my two sons were born, my nurses were the most crucial care providers and the greatest source of support to me in those first few hours and days. We sent food to their floor after leaving the hospital, but I think that nurses in particular can never be thanked enough. How do we thank lawyers? I used to work as a lawyer and I often felt that I was supposed to be grateful for the opportunity to work with a client, and not the other way around. I think that is generally the way that the legal profession is supposed to work. It is designed to be a helping profession, even if it does not always work that way. How do we thank teachers? Students and parents give holiday gifts to teachers and this is a wonderful way to express our thanks for selfless and essential work, but like nurses, teachers are some of the hardest working and least appreciated members of our society.

When I sit and think of every person who deserves my gratitude, the list is endless. I have a favorite checkout man at the Stop & Shop in Dobbs Ferry and at CVS in Ardsley who consistently brightens my day. Our mail carrier is always prompt, reliable and friendly. Many business owners in the Rivertowns make a point of speaking to my children and giving them goodies. Chris Scaperotta of Scaperotta's Deli is a legend in the minds of my preschoolers. 

I am helped by an individual who is completely new to me at least weekly. I don't know if it's possible for me to outwardly thank each person who helps me or my family.  Lately I am trying to remember everyone who touches my life in prayer and meditation. For me, this is the most powerful means of sending love and gratitude. I was taught as a child to "remember others in prayer,"  but it is only now that I am coming to an experience of what that means and how such a practice can change me for the better. In focusing on gratitude in meditation, I am slowly becoming more aware of others and less fixated on my own needs. Perhaps this is one available path in learning to "love thy neighbor as thyself."

Since I am still learning the practice of demonstrating gratitude, I will continue to contemplate new ways to show my thanks.

Here is one new capacity that makes me feel grateful, and if I can I'll recite it at the table this Thanksgiving: I am grateful for the ability to continually correct myself and adjust my views to get closer to Love. As long as these adjustments stem from spirit rather than ego, I believe that they are valuable.

I am very interested to learn how others say "thank you," and want constantly to improve on my ability to show gratitude toward those who deserve it.