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Parenting Your Parent

What happens when you realize you're parenting your own parent? Hear the story of this blogger's role reversal with her mom, and share yours.

At some point along the way, I must have grown up. Maybe it was when I became a parent myself, or perhaps it was my age or experience in the workforce. Whatever it was, I just came to the realization that while my mom is a smart, successful business woman, she needs some good, ol’ fashioned parenting advice from time to time.

My mom has owned her stationery/invitation business outside of Chicago for 35 years. Through economic downturns and the invention of email and electronic invitations, she has managed to stay afloat with a core customer base that loves her. Her customers respect her and go to her boutique store for everything between a wedding save-the-date and their child’s Bar Mitzvah and birthday invitations. I worked at her store back in high school and felt knowledgeable as the “boss’s daughter” and heir to the stationery throne.

But after college, my plans took me to New York City where I did not pursue a career in the printing business, or have any intention of taking over hers. But I still hear about her issues at work, whether with a stubborn customer or a careless employee. I usually keep my mouth shut, but sometimes, I have to intervene and let her know that while I am not an expert in stationery or invitations, I am a somewhat successful business woman and know a thing or two about business.

Which leads me to her latest email, which she received from a sales rep selling some sort of product/service to her (and no doubt lots of other businesses in her area). She asked for my feedback and I told her that while she probably should pass on it, maybe it would be worth at least a phone call to find out more. Then, she emailed her response to who she thought was the sales rep but turned out to be me, which was a stroke of luck considering this is what the email said (word-for-word):

“’Am out of town on biz and returning tomorrow with a cold and a big work issue to deal with. Would be happy to talk to you but wonder roughly what type of on estment would this entail on my part? I prob cannot play in the same league as your other clients but aporeciate your interest and will be happy to talk soon. Thanks !’ Sent from my iPhone”

I was appalled that my mom (who advises her customers on etiquette and proper spelling/punctuation for invitations) would send this type of unprofessional response to anyone, let alone someone trying to do business with her! All of the sudden, I found myself being the parent and reprimanding her for sending that email, full of typos and unnecessary information, to someone who she thought wasn’t me. And it hit me that now I’M the one parenting my own mom and giving HER advice? That same mom who counseled me after many a breakup, gave me career advice and offered her wisdom during my own parenting challenges?

I realized that while our roles had, indeed, been reversed, they would probably continue to change back and forth in the coming years, whether I call her to ask for parenting advice or she requests my business advice. It’s a nice change and one that I hope will last as my own kids get older and wiser, and hopefully someone will remind me of that when I think I know best (but don't)!

Have you ever had to parent your parent? Share your story here!   

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jobobg2 May 19, 2013 at 11:23 am
I'd like to Thank everyone that came out to support the scholarship fund. We were able to raise overRead More $500. for the day.I also want to thank the students that came out to help. Bob Galinski,club advisor,Hastings schools
Renee Petro May 12, 2013 at 01:46 pm
The letter does not seem to mention if they have personal experience as an educator or as a parentRead More with kids now, kids past years or kids future years in the Irvington School District. Sometimes the perspective is different if you have lived the experience with kids in the Irvington School District. I have three kids -- one graduate last year and is at Cornell University, one is grade nine and one is grade three. All three got great teachers, small class size and extra help or enrichment as needed. I think the arts programs can be expanded -- music, drama, fine arts (both in classes and electives plus stipends to pay teachers for clubs and after school activities). However, this is a school district that values having small class size and keeping strong all the academics core subjects required for graduation and college plus making a priority sports opportunities middle school through high schools at all levels and types of sports. If you are high achiever it works grades k-12; if you are a child with special education needs or learning issues needs or extra help needs it works too. The average student is the one who is often forgotten in Irvington School District since they just do their thing in school, after school activities and move from grade to grade uneventful but nothing that will be memorable at least in my experience.
Teleman April 2, 2013 at 02:35 pm
The problem has always been skyrocketing costs- bamacare does absolutely nothing to address costs.Read More It is a complete scam that will only add to the uninsured because it makes employers accelerate dropping employer sponsored healthcare- dumping even more people into the arms of the government disaster.
Andromachos April 2, 2013 at 10:50 am
When employers are offering less and less health insurance, more people are self insured orRead More uninsured and are restricted to buying policies as individuals. With the cost at over $ 1,500 per month for standard, full coverage for a family of 4, it is no wonder there are so many uninsured or partially insured ( emergency/hospital care only).