Warning: Being a student athlete may be dangerous to your physical and mental health.
The school year is drawing to a close, and with it many spring sports seasons are ending or are in playoffs; but, that hasn’t dimmed the light of attention being focused on youth sports lately.
Consider the recent story of Darien lacrosse coach Lisa Lindley. Until the Friday before Memorial Day, she was the revered leader of ’s girls lacrosse team. But on that day, in the middle of the FCIAC lax finals pitting Darien against Greenwich, , Caylee Waters. Pictures taken by a Hearst newspapers photographer show the coach grabbing Waters’ helmet and shouting in her face.
Shortly thereafter, Lindley was placed on administrative leave from her coaching position for this year, but it’s been reported that her suspension will not be a permanent one; in fact, according to the Darien Times Lindley will return next year as coach of the team.
I’m troubled that school administrators aren’t giving more extensive consideration before allowing her to take back the reins of the team, especially after suggest the incident was behavior not far out of the norm for this coach.
Student athletes, even at older teenage levels, are still kids. I know there are those who say, “We coddle our kids too much in Fairfield County. Not everyone deserves a trophy.”
All the same, everyone deserves to feel safe and not be verbally assaulted by an adult who is purportedly teaching you and directing you. These are teenagers, not professional athletes—whether they be girls or boys.
Surprisingly, some commenters did support this type of coaching, suggesting girl athletes will always feel second tier to boys, and a coach who yells is actually one who shows “real caring.” Sorry, but I wholeheartedly disagree—I think a yeller only makes someone feel belittled, lousy and less confident.
Of course, coaching incidents like this are not the norm, but they make for great headlines—as happened in had players burn third place trophies as some sort of punishing motivation for not ranking higher. Fairfield County is not the sole place where school and town athletics are competitive, or where parents heatedly yell at kids and umpires from the sidelines.
Now, too, there’s mounting buzz about health issues that crop up from sports injuries, predominantly concussions. It’s an issue being debated more and more at professional levels, considering how damaging a career’s worth of repeated injuries could potentially be.
After recent suicides of retired players reportedly suffering with lingering effects form past head injuries were anecdotally linked to progressive brain damage, the heat has increased—most recently when the family of former NFL player Junior Seau decided to donate his brain for head trauma research following Seau’s suicide last month.
Some big names are starting to take a more vocal stand against players starting young, especially in the more aggressive sports like football. Did you ever think you’d hear the names Tom Brady Sr. or Kurt Warner on the side of those advocating a harder look at the dangers of teen and youth football? Even the dad of leading quarterback Tom Brady would think twice about letting his son get into the game.
Here in Wilton where I live, there have been a sudden rash of recent injuries in the handful of child athletes I know—two concussions (one baseball, one soccer), one baseball to the eye, one potential broken wrist (also baseball)—and those are to kids not yet in high school.
What’s more, it’s not even football season.
We have to wonder about how much we’re pushing our kids, and pushing our kids to push themselves. I understand the camaraderie, the dedication and commitment they’re learning, and the amazing physical benefits of involvement in team sports.
I write this while watching my son at travel soccer practice. At the moment, they’re working on strategic passes to goal, and as center midfielder and occasional striker, he’s right now standing close to goal as the player his teammates will pass to for the score. I watch as a pass comes his way—directly at his head.
I feel the internal pull between soccer sideline mom and … just mom. Make the header! says the mom who wants her son to do well for his coach, for his teammates and for himself.
And what of the ‘just mom,’ who knows the lasting impact a swift moving ball can have when it does literally make impact. Please let him reflexively turn away!
Realistically, I know the majority of young athletes don’t get injured, and they’re not pushed past their physical limits. So too, of course, there are so many more wonderful coaches who motivate their young student athletes by building their self-esteem and infusing their character.
I hope those are the rules and that my children and yours don’t meet the exceptions.
I want my children to reap the healthy benefits of being active and part of a team. I hope being an athlete will give them opportunities to test themselves and to attain goals that outpace their self-expectations.
I just don’t think they need to be put in harm’s way or pushed too far in order to achieve those successes..
If things are not safe, then it is up to us as adults to make them safe. Coaches need to teach proper techniques. Leagues and organizations should constantly be looking at things that may not be as safe as previously thought. For example, I know youth soccer has been examining "Heading" the ball and if it might have long term effects.
I recently noticed on my son's school playground the rules read "no running." Seriously? No running at recess, isn't that the whole point of recess? I also don't think yelling coaches are a problem - if they are being demeaning - then it's an issue. But just yelling comes with the territory, especially for older athletes. Sometimes kids just space out and need to be refocused on the task at hand.
I think the psychology majors should stick to teenage depression, cutting, etc., etc., and stay the hell out of sports!
For those who choose otherwise, so be it. I will end with a comment for thought..... Every week, 400+ Americans lose their lives in auto accidents...... Should we not drive..... think about the pluses and minuses....... The answer is clear to me.
There are plenty of people who have the title "Parent" and aren't there for their kids in the emotional way you are alluding to. Some kids are better off in daycare, and I know at least 1 day care that provides a loving a safe environment for kids. Its the daycare my daughter is in. She is loved and happy. The "average" mother doesn't willingly leave their kid in daycare. Its a difficult decision to make and in the end having a dual income household allows kids to to have more advantages in life. Believe it or not, every woman can't be home with their children watching soap operas and making sure her husbands pants have a really sharp crease down the front. and that hot dinner waiting for him. Its not the world we live in, and since you constantly complain about the taxes in Rockland county I would think you would understand hwo expensive it is to live here. So i guess I'm saying your statement is a big contradiction againt other viewpoints you have. To quote you, your comments are a war against Women (or girls).
Know what? Let's all start giving birth to pumpkins ... who can sit in the window and stare at the world 24/7.
With regard to the comments on this thread about moms dumping kids in daycare. My mom is a hard working very loving person. Someone with 3 kids that were very active. She worked so we could join anything we wanted, & do anything we wanted. She is truly an amazing person and I'm lucky to have her. My dad works hard too, but he never picked us up from sports or shuffled 3 kids around town. He worked, came home & sat on the couch. I appreciate what he did for us, but its not the same level of sacrifice as my mom. Also, 3 months is generous. Many of my friends get a whopping 6 weeks. Hardly enough time to bond with your child. Perhaps instead of flaming women on here Watchdog, you can help all women get better maternity packages. Do your research, the United States has some of the worst maternity coverage in the world. Go Team!
Just not worth it. Not for my kids.